Why Team Building Activities Sometimes Backfire
I once came dangerously close to knocking out my CEO during a team-building exercise.
Completely by accident.
At least… mostly by accident.
Watch the video below for the full awkward story.
Team Building Can Go Wrong Faster Than Leaders Think
Most team-building activities start with a good intention. Leaders want more trust, better communication, and a stronger workplace culture. Fair enough. Those things matter.
The problem is that some team-building activities assume connection can be created on demand. Put people in a field, give them a challenge, add a little competition, and hope everyone walks away feeling closer.
Sometimes that works. Sometimes it feels forced. And sometimes someone’s defensive instincts kick in before their “this is a workplace bonding activity” instincts have fully loaded.
That was the awkward part of this story.
The bigger leadership lesson is that people do not build trust when they feel unsafe, exposed, or pushed into something unnatural. They might participate. They might smile. They might even look like they are going along with it. But internally, they may be bracing.
That matters because trust is not built by forcing people into uncomfortable situations that are artificial. It is built through repeated signals that people are safe, respected, and able to be themselves without paying a price for it.
This is where leaders can get team building wrong. They focus on the activity instead of the conditions around the activity.
A team-building exercise does not automatically create trust. In some cases, it can reveal the absence of it. If people already feel guarded, disconnected, or unsure of where they stand, a forced activity may not fix the problem. It may simply make the awkwardness more visible.
That does not mean team building is bad. Shared experiences can help. Humour can help. A bit of play can help. But only when people feel they have enough trust to relax into it.
Otherwise, what looks like connection from the outside may feel very different to the people in it.
What This Awkward Moment Revealed
Connection cannot be forced. Leaders can create opportunities for people to connect, but they cannot manufacture trust by putting people into artificial situations and hoping chemistry appears.
Psychological safety matters more than the activity. People are more likely to engage when they do not feel embarrassed, exposed, or pressured to perform a version of team spirit.
Trust is built in the everyday culture. The real test is not whether people participate in a team-building exercise. It is whether they feel safe speaking honestly, working through tension, and handling difficult conversations when the activity is over.
Team building can be useful, but it should not be treated as a shortcut for culture. If the everyday workplace does not support trust, communication, and vulnerable leadership, one afternoon in a field will not magically solve it.
And in some cases, it may just make everyone grateful nobody got the elbow.
Ever had a “team-building” moment that completely missed the mark?
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